Caring with Compassion: Supporting a Loved One with Dementia
by Jennifer Lynn
Caring for a loved one with dementia is one of the most emotionally complex and exhausting journeys a person can take. Whether you're navigating the early stages of memory loss or deep into daily caregiving tasks, the emotional toll can be overwhelming.
This article offers practical tools, emotional validation, and small, sustainable ways to care for yourself—because your well-being matters too.
The Hidden Grief of Caregiving
Dementia caregiving often comes with ambiguous loss—grieving someone who is still physically present but mentally changing. This ambiguous loss, paired with the unpredictability of dementia, can create an intense emotional experience that includes:
Guilt – “Am I doing enough?”
Frustration – “Why am I the only one stepping up?”
Anxiety – “What will tomorrow bring?”
Exhaustion – “I’m so tired, but I can’t stop.”
These emotions are normal. Acknowledging them is a powerful step toward resilience.
Redefining Self-Care (It's Not All Massages and Vacations!)
Many people picture self-care as spa days or weekend getaways—but for caregivers, self-care often looks a lot smaller and more immediate. It’s taking one mindful breath before responding to a tough moment or conversation. It’s letting yourself walk away from an argument. It’s asking for help—again—even if it feels uncomfortable.
True self-care is about sustainability, not indulgence. It’s how we keep going without losing ourselves in the process.
Practical Tools for Emotional Resilience
Here are a few simple strategies to bring more care and calm into your caregiving journey:
Take a Mindful Pause
When emotions are heightened, try this: Stop. Take a deep breath. Name what you're feeling.
Example: “I feel overwhelmed and alone right now.”
This small moment of awareness can help you ground yourself before reacting. Take a few deep breaths and honor where you are in your journey. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.
Journal to Process and Release
Journaling can be a powerful way to validate your emotions. Try prompts like:“What is one thing I’m proud of today?”
“What am I holding that needs to be released?”
Especially when conversations aren’t possible—whether due to memory loss, cognitive decline, or strained relationships—journaling provides a safe space for release, healing, and honest expression.
Practice Guided Breathing
Deep breathing resets your nervous system in just a few moments.Try box breathing:
Inhale for 4 counts → hold for 4 → exhale for 4 → hold for 4.
Repeat 3-5 times when you're feeling tense or overwhelmed.
Boundaries, Guilt & Asking for Help
Guilt is common, especially if others aren’t helping. But caregiving isn’t meant to be done alone. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s a form of survival. Try shifting from vague statements like “I need help” to specific requests:
“Can you stay with Dad on Tuesday so I can take a break?”
“Can you handle the grocery run this week?”
People may not step in perfectly, but some help is better than none. Let go of “the right way” and make space for “good enough.”
When You’re Running on Empty
Caregiver fatigue is real. It shows up as irritability, sleeplessness, brain fog, and emotional numbness. If you're noticing these signs, it's time to check in with yourself:
Have you had a real break lately?
Are you carrying resentment?
Do you have someone to talk to—who really listens?
Reaching out to a support group, therapist, or trusted friend can help release some of the weight you’re carrying.
One Small Step
Self-care doesn’t have to be another thing on your to-do list. Choose one small action you can commit to this week:
5 deep breaths during stress
5 minutes of journaling
A short morning meditation
Asking for one specific thing
Small changes, done consistently, can shift everything.
Jennifer Lynn is the owner of Nurtured Roots. She is a grief educator, reiki master, and yoga & mindfulness instructor. You can learn more about Jennifer and Nurtured Roots here.